What Josh Duggar [and each of us] Needs To Hear

First thing’s first:lighthouse

Josh, if by some chance this blog ever makes its way to you, I want you to know that this season of life doesn’t have to define you. I’m sure it can feel like all people focus on these days are your mistakes. And that’s probably true right now.

You’ve definitely made some over the years. In fact, you’ve sinned. And I’m pretty sure that all of the people who write about you have sinned along the way too.

I understand you in that respect. Me too, man. It always seems like the worst parts of me are the ones that vie for the most attention. Hang in there, man. I’m learning and growing, and you can too. And if you ever need somebody to talk to, I would be glad to listen. But even if it’s not me, find somebody you know you can trust, and talk. You need it, dude.

For the rest of us:

Dude, chill out a little bit.

Josh has sinned. And so have you. I think we can all get through this.

We all know the stories. Josh Duggar sinned big time in the past. And as a dad of 2 daughters, I can agree that his behavior was reprehensible. And this week, with the identities of the Ashley Madison clients being released, it’s clear Josh has had more going on even in recent memory.

That being said, I think Josh Duggar [and each of us] needs to hear some really important truths:

1)  If you call yourself a Christian, people are going to want to know if it’s for real > And they will NOT go easy on you if it’s not. The bigger your platform, the more people expect. You don’t have to be perfect, but you must be real. Or you will be skewered.

2)  We all have a sinful nature > And it will bring every single one of us down if we don’t do battle with it. That is a battle that isn’t easy, but it’s worth it EVERY time.

3)  There are dangers to growing up in a Christian home > All of us who grew up in a Christian home are susceptible to a whole different set of emotional struggles. Christian parents often quite unwittingly use shame and guilt to correct behaviors (“when you act like THAT, it makes God sad” or “that’s not how people like US should be” etc). I know this all too well. I grew up in a Christian home. And guess what, I’m raising my kids in one. It’s a tension with which we wrestle everyday.

4)  Dudes need accountability > Guys, you need to be having weekly conversations about your struggles. Then you need to put accountability software on your computer. I have it on my Mac. And guess what, I still need the weekly conversations. Josh may have avoided some of this stuff if he’d had good accountability in place. I pray you and I learn from the situation. (Ladies, I believe you need accountability too…but I won’t pretend to know what all of that looks like, so I’ll save it for the far more capable female bloggers).

5)  It’s not your failures to watch out for, but your successes > The more popular you get, the higher levels of leadership you earn, the more people know your name…the lonelier life gets. When you fail, you work on it and start over. But success is perhaps the most intoxicating drug in the universe. Watch out for it; it’s brought down far more people than failure ever could.

6)  Paul was right > He said it better than I ever could in Romans 7. The things I don’t wanna do…well they come to me so easily. And the things I want to do…well, they’re the ones that seem so difficult. Ugh.

As the great band Three Days Grace once said, “It’s not too late…it’s never too late.”

Josh can find redemption.

And so can you.

And so can I.

The only question is…do you want to find it?


Character Is Not Made In One Big Moment

We’ve all said it at some point, right?

“That single moment defined him as a person…”

“No one knew she had it in her until that one day…”

But the truth is that somewhere deep down, we all know those are really sweet and kind and romanticized lies.

They’re like the “wait 30 minutes before swimming” rule of character development.

Character is not made in one big moment; it is revealed.

If you push someone out of the way of a train and die in the process…

If you refuse to give up in an unrelenting fight with cancer…

If you remain faithful in a tough marriage, praying that God will soften hearts…

One moment didn’t make you who you are; one thousand moments formed you over time.

If you die in an act of heroism, we won’t say at your funeral that that one event made you who you were. We will share memories from your whole life that reveal you were just that great all along the way.

You don’t have to wait to be awesome tomorrow by saving a bunch of kids from a burning orphanage.

You can be awesome today by making a handful of decisions to be a person of integrity.

And maybe the little decisions of refusing to fail today will prepare you for a big moment in which you succeed tomorrow.